A new horizon...

I've been out of my usual circle of things since having a paranoid confused episode a little over a year ago. I had gone from taking my meds all the time to not taking them at all.

My landlord freaked, so I ended up in a nursing home for about eight months then went to a group home.

Now I'm living with my parents and slowly moving back into the things that make life worthwhile.

I've been usually depressed and I discussed with my doctor. I asked him about Abilify and he said that he was just going about to recommend that.

I've been on Abilify for a week and I have noticed a increase in socialability and not so much feeling depressed when waking up. I'm also a little more enthusiastic about doing things.

If it wasn't for a flu, I'd be at the Auto show today, taking pictures.

I recently took some pr shoots for an up and coming punk rock band (Coma Boys):
http://jasonpage. zenfolio. com/p556147091

I know the band leader through the student paper at Oakton. He was Editor then and he is now studying political science at Loyola.

I haven't created any new music yet. I tried about four weeks ago and couldn't get in the grove. But I have started some work on the Aleatory Records website.

Take a look:
http://project. aleatoryrecords. com

Peace out,
Jason

Depression and Anxiety

I have made it through a tuff period of depression and anxiety. I found it tuff to stay in bed and to get out of bed. I would toss and turn and would feel a void at the pit of my stomach. My muscles had been tight and my appetite was at a loss. When taking my 4am medications I was not able to go back to sleep. I would also be constipated for six-seven days.

I was recently hospitalized for these conditions and put on a new medication, Clozapine. I no longer have the depression or anxiety and I now rest easy.

Tentative move out date is still August 1st to the Lawson YMCA. I still have yet to turn in the application and pay the $25 background check. I will do all that this comming week.

The Lawson house rooms come with a fridge, microwave, desk, dresser, bed and TV. I can receive mail and there are laundry facilities in the basement. I will be renting for the community bath. It costs an extra $50 to have a private bath. But I am not too worried about it.

Moving out Skokie Meadows #1

My case worker Jill has written letter of recommending discharge to my doctor based on my stability. I spoke to the doctor and he said to let him know when I am ready to leave.

I am seriously considering moving in to the Lawson YMCA and finish my education at UIC.
My friend Urmil said he had to retake some classes when transfering to UIC. Had he known he would have transfered to UIC much earlier. I think it is 30 credits from general ed that transfers.

Living at the "Y" all the resources I need are within blocks walking distance.

I will be taking groups at Turning Point in Skokie which is about three blocks from the Skokie Swift.

I also plan on finishing my photo class. My contact at Oakton, Ann Marie, is waiting for a treatment plan from Jill before I can finish and continue at Oakton. That treatment plan will be written after some progress has been made at Turning Point.

I plan on moving out at the beginning of August. My check arrives on the 3rd. The administrator, Ms Willey, said she would cash my check (my checks are in Skokie Meadows name) when it is time for me to leave.

Ms. Willey gave me some assurrance not to worry about payback for the days I stay past the 1st which rate is $110 a day.

I have discussed with my ex-roommate Sandy possibly having a yard sale at the house to get rid of a lot of stuff I otherwise would not have the space to keep at the "Y".

At Turning Point, I had been seeing an intern therapist. She has moved on two weeks ago and I am on a wait list to see another therapist. I am thinking whether I really need a therapist and possibly drop down to a case worker that monitors my progress in groups.

I will start groups on Mondays starting next week. Groups I will be taking are:
Critical thinking-philosophy, coping skills, art therapy and cook skills. The first two I hope will improve my social skills, art therapy will help me realize feelings at thoughts and cooking skills I'm taking just to keep me busy that day.

Peace Fest...

I have been offered the job as videographer for the Chicago Peace Fest in June. I maybe using my own DV camera. It's a 3CCD Panasonic.

I have also finished uploading pictures of the Michigan Peace Fest at http://jasonpage.zenfolio.com/p427731057

Other options...

I am now looking for other places to move in. Maestro Phil will be moving out to move in with his girl friend in August and I don't want to take the risk of moving in and ending up with nowhere to go.

I posted an ad on craigs list yesterday and already got three responses. Two of the replies are out of Oakton's district and the other did not provide much details.

Skokie Meadows #004 (Moving Out)

My Doctor will give me the green light to move out once he gets a note from my social worker Jill recommending it. I am almost finished transitional living group with social worker Debbie. So far she had me work out a budget and type of a lease.

I have already mapped out transportation to and from Oakton and to and from my outside group and therapist/doctor center Turning Point in Skokie. Both commutes require only two buses each way.

I spoke to Debbie about moving out on June 1st and she said that would be timely. My friend Maestro Phil will allow me to keep first months rent in the amount of $300 so that I may replace my lost camera. This way I can continue with the job I did last year: Photographing the Chicago's and Michigan's Peace Fests.

At Skokie Meadows #003

The new anti-depression medication  kicked in about Wednesday of last week and today I was able to get myself out of bed around 8:30am with energy. Before that I would stay in bed until 10am or later.

The depression crept in towards the end of March and it put pain in my stomach. My appetite went down and I was starting to withdraw from people. After a week of it getting worse, I told the nurse about the depression and they were able to call my doctor and get me on the medication on the same day.

I am currently keeping busy working on the pictures I took for the Michigan Peace Fest. Friday's pictures I finished and uploaded six months ago on http://jasonpage.zenfolio.com.

The difficulty on the pictures is finding where I put them. I found Friday and Saturday pictures on my photo bank device and I think Sunday's photos were backed up on another hard drive. There have been lots of duplicates and that's been a headache to organize. But I have been able to distinguish which ones are from what days by doing a search by date. Nothing for Sunday July 15th came up on the photo bank device except for clean up pictures. I will check the other hard drive tonight.

Making the move:

I am planning to move in with my friend Maestro and I am looking to get in on June 1st. Maestro has agreed to allow my first months rent go toward a replacement Sigma camera. That way I could fulfill the photo work for the Michigan Peace Festival or perhaps in time for the Chicago Peace Fest in mid June.

The apartment would be just two buses away from Turning Point and two buses to Oakton D.P. And there is a small food store just across the street that would meet most of my food needs.

The room I am renting already has a bed. I will bring my plastic shelves to keep my clothes and misc and my laptop. My desktop computer will be donated to either a friend or the Unity for a Change organization.

The administrator at Skokie Meadows has agreed to cash my check (since it's in Skokie Meadows name) before I leave.

I would leave on the 1st to prevent Skokie Meadows charging $110 for each additional day. 

The location is just three blocks from the Jefferson Park blue line station. I bank with TCF bank and there is a TCF bank just a block from the Jefferson Park station.

I am pretty much covered except with being out of Oakton's district. But that should not be a problem since I plan on moving back in the suburbs, either Des Plains, Niles or Skokie to share a house or apartment that is within my budget. Staying at Maestro's will allow me to save up for moving back in the suburbs.

I will also go visit the Evanston house in the months ahead to decide what's trash and what I would be keeping. My ex-roommate Sandy and the landlord have been nice about keeping the stuff at the house. I will reduce the amount of stuff as much as possible--basically get rid of anything I don't use.